Zen…mostly

I meditate almost every morning.  I have been doing so for just over a year.  It is a blessing.

I started to meditate with Oprah and Deepak Chopra on one of their meditation challenges.  I still participate in the challenges but use Get Some Headspace (getsomeheadspace.com) on a daily basis to limp me through meditation.  I cannot say that I can turn off the turbulence in my head but I can at least recognize the chatter for what it is.  Just my mind making up things.  I can better tune them out.

I have found that I am calmer and more relaxed.   Most of the time.

Today, I broke my zen.  Sigh.

It was snowing when I woke up this morning.  The Bearded One was scheduled for a morning appointment with the doctor to find out why he had had such a problem walking a few days ago.  He got up on time.  I shoveled out the walks and around the truck (parked on the street and plowed in with heaps of snow).

Unfortunately, I had not realized that The Bearded One also has experienced a change in his time perception.  He has none.  Although I warned him periodically of the appointment upcoming and I saw that progress was being made to prepare, he was no where near ready ten minutes before departure.

Sigh.

And, although he has lost some executive function, he is still himself enough that pushing him to hurry just caused him to glare and slow down.

Sigh.

At least a zen person would have sighed.  Me, not so much.  I snapped.  Shouted.

Shouldn’t have.  Not his fault.

Sigh.

I called the doc.  Could be ten minutes late but later would need to reschedule.  Got us in the truck in time for that schedule.

The truck would not move out of the parking place.  I could back up but just skidded going forward.  Again and again.

Sigh.

Rescheduled the appointment.

If I was zen I would have noticed the parking brake was on.

Sigh.

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About Retired woman

retired, dealing with parents recent deaths, wondering what lies ahead with the health of my spouse, overall enjoying each day, love cooking, gardening, travel, Grandsons, family, small town life
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